Cheap Macro Photography

Once the cheap (actually free) laser pointer on my desk at work had run down its batteries, I did the obvious thing: I took it apart. Not just because I'm "like that," but mainly because the focusing lense of any cheap red laser pointer makes a passable approximation of a macro photography lense.

Don't believe me? After shoehorning said lense onto my cellphone camera using a bobby pin and some scotch tape, I ended up with the following images taken around the house (be sure to click the images for higher resolution):

A feather.

A flower. (I think it's a violet)

Leaf.

Ordinary fine table salt!

Wholewheat bread. Boring, yet strangely comforting.

Small font on a 1920x1080 LCD monitor.

Left index finger.

An ordinary South African 50c coin.

National coat of arms on the same coin.

Okay, so none of the above images are exactly breathtaking, but it's still a great deal cheaper than a $1,200 macro lense for your SLR.

Addendum: The cellphone in question is a Samsung Galaxy S2. Though its camera is rather ordinary, it does feature a "macro" feature which is, in all honesty, utter shit. I left it turned off while taking the above.

Your photography sucks

Have you noticed how everyone and their mother claims photography as a hobby nowadays? Do you know why? I'll cut right through the bullshit: because it's easy.

Okay, that's a bit of an explosive statement; good photography is everything but easy, in much the same way that good abstract expressionism is - I would imagine - extremely fucking difficult to pull off, but that doesn't stop anyone capable of projectile defecating paint from calling themselves an "artist".

Jackson Pollock was a genius. Whoever came up with this abomination, well...

Which brings me neatly to the next point in this disjointed rant: photography is the oil-on-canvas of the twenty first century. Anyone within snatching distance of a camera is equipped to take a picture and plaster it on their Flickr profile, but that doesn't make them a photographer any more than taking a laxative would make me a proctologist.

Annie Leibovitz, Robert Mapplethorpe... These people are photographers. You? You're an asshole with a camera, too much time, and not enough negative reinforcement.

Addendum: Yes, I do recall that I, too, have a Flickr profile. However, I've never claimed to be a photographer nor denied being a hypocrite.