10,000 BC

IMDB score as of 2009-06-03: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 9%

I had the misfortune of seeing this turkey a second time on television the other night. I say "a second time" because... Well, actually it makes me depressed thinking about the money I wasted when I originally went to see this pile at the cinema, so let's just forget about that and get on with the review:

Imagine the rare circumstance where being historically and scientifically accurate would actually deliver a highly entertaining, immersive and universally enjoyable film. Now picture Roland Emmerich gently placing both historical accuracy and entertainment value into an ornate clay bowl, dropping his trousers, and taking a steaming, fat shit all over these twin pillars of cinematic value, all whilst twirling his mustache and laughing maniacally. This is 10,000 BC.

I cringe in horror at the thought that this man will be helming an adaptation of Isaac Asimov's Foundation.